Pg148

January 16, 2017 in 8: Vulnerable
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Pg148
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Author Notes:

Proxy170 January 16, 2017 edit delete
Proxy170
In case anyone doesn't know, and it hasn't been made clear...Field Marshall is the highest military rank. So FM Everett is the big cheese, in charge of all military operations. He doesn't seem a fan of Dr. Yang though, and as is usually the case, his military strategies seem to differ from the civilian leadership (Denette Koplan).

I'd love to get some feedback from you guys...is there enough balance between the WNS and the girls' story? Are we getting enough insight? Are things making sense and believable? I'd rather hear the criticism now than when I'm too far into the story and it's too late D:
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Comments:

defo18 January 17, 2017 edit delete reply
defo18
Hell. My knowledge on the military is extremely Limited. So I learned something today.

I think the storybis fine. But please Proxy...put some color in this.
Proxy170 January 18, 2017 edit delete reply
Proxy170
The rank thing isn't true for all militaries, but some nations held that rank in the past. Thanks for the feedback! My next comic will definitely be color, but PA has always been intended for this style. So covers only in color, sorry!
Matt Knab January 18, 2017 edit delete reply
Matt Knab
Well, it's good to see that they're not exactly a unified front!

My only concern about the story balance is that, while the girls are interesting and fun to read about, these folks pale in comparison - which may simply be due to the fact you haven't had time to show us what makes them tick just yet.
Proxy170 January 18, 2017 edit delete reply
Proxy170
Yup, I didn't exactly want to make the WNS a one mind organization. Even Nazis had their divides...

Yes, that has been my biggest concern...I haven't painted them very clearly and so far there's been a nebulous "bad guy" that's only shown up in the news, or an occasional interaction...(I wonder if the average reader even knows the name of the WNS Commander?) There is a method to my madness (TBD if it's a valid method), but PA is turning out to be such a slow burner in the beginning >.< Not sure if a reader would find the payout worth the price.

Really, really appreciate your candid feedback though! Seriously, it means a lot!
TheD-Wrek January 18, 2017 edit delete reply
TheD-Wrek
And the plot thickens. FM Big Cheese is someone to keep an eye on. X)

I like the balance. As much as I like the girls' portion of the story I think it's nice to cut away every once in a while and get some more insight on whats going on with the baddies.

P.S. - Comic needs more Christina. X'D
Proxy170 January 19, 2017 edit delete reply
Proxy170
He certainly will be a recurring important character!

Thanks for the feedback, that was what I was thinking too. I just feel like although it was my intention to focus on the girls early on, I may have done that TOO much and now the baddies are poorly defined. And without baddies, there is no conflict, and without conflict....no story D:

And trust me, once we get past this next build up chapter, we'll see more of her :)
alston123 January 20, 2017 edit delete reply
alston123
Hehe. Ooooo. Determined face. XD
Proxy170 January 20, 2017 edit delete reply
Proxy170
Meh...more like "I got angry once and my face got stuck this way" face lol